UNPLUGGED – What Our Fathers Did not Tell Us
As children, we learnt from Disney that if you treat her like a queen, she will treat you like a King. We were also taught that a man should go on one knee while proposing to a woman because women are the prize. We were also taught that we should listen to our wives and be gentlemen because women like nice boys they can trust and not bad boys who weren’t faithful. Men have tested these ideas, and thousands of men have lived to share their experiences and results. This book consolidates what men have learnt about intergender dynamics: what works and what does not work.
Today, marriage rates are declining. Forty per cent of single black women in the US are single mothers who prioritize getting babies over getting in a stable long-term commitment, aka marriage. Why do many young girls today prefer becoming side chicks to high-value men rather than settling in marriage with an average man?
In 2019, the American Psychological Association labelled traditional masculinity as harmful. But if so, why are women striving to be like men? What is the impact of masculine females on relationships? Why are women being told to “act like a lady and think like a man” if masculinity is harmful?
What attracts women to men, and how can men maintain that attachment? In the age of social media, where women get free attention and validation from hundreds of men, how do men in long term relationships deal with partners who feel they have so many options?
Women file for divorce 70-80% of the time in the western world. How can men navigate marriage with modern women incentivized to divorce by divorce laws? Why did the Greeks equate the feminine with chaos, represented as the goddess Pandora? Why are most oracles in epics female, and why did God tell Adam that his first sin was listening to Eve?
On average, men’s handgrip strength, testosterone levels, and overall masculinity is declining, while women’s enrolment rates in universities have outstripped those of men. Among trans adults, the majority are men who say they were born female. Why? Why is masculinity on the decline?
In 2021, before a whole school assembly at Brauer College in Victoria, Australia, the male students were all told to stand up, turn to a girl in their class and say sorry. Yet they had done nothing wrong. Based on Census Bureau historical data and Morgan Stanley forecasts, 45% of prime working-age women (ages 25-44) will be single by 2030—the largest share in history—up from 41% in 2018.
This book traces the origin of the steady decline of the man’s role in the family. It also seeks to help men understand female nature, revitalize masculinity and build full-stack men who can navigate relationships while providing leadership in an increasingly gynocentric world that has largely silenced men.
This book will plug you from comforting lies to cold hard truths.
Brian Anyona –
I have read this book four times as I write this and I want to thank the author Jacob Aliet for this book. I have been a victim of hypergamy not once but twice and I cannot even blame the women who left me as I was blue pilled conditioned, lambistic, lacked a masculine frame, a simp, I had no frame, and I suffered from oneitis. Now I know my mistakes and I know what is expected of me by having my own mental point of origin and picking up the burden of performance. This book is good and all men should read this book. Kudos Jacob Aliet.
96elan –
Timely book for myself and I am sure many young men. I am a Christian man and I don’t agree with a few parts of the book but its a must read for every Christian man. Unplugged is many times better than the marriage/relationship coaches in church who are determined to make men simps. Unplugged should be given to men during pre marital counselling.
McDonald Kabugo –
My son is finally sitting for his KCSE. When he comes home after the end of his high school education I will hand him a copy of Unplugged to set him up for the next phase of life
Tobias Onserio –
Well, well, well,
I got my copy recently from my father-in-law just before our wedding. I’ve read, and I won’t let him down.
Felix Waswa –
I don’t watch soaps, but someone recommend that I read Unplugged then watch a local program called Becky on citizen T.V. from an Unplugged perspective. I had to go to you tube and watch all episodes since the program started three months ago. Its like the scriptwriters read Unplugged and then wrote a script with a sharp focus on plugged men and how they get punished by female nature. Female nature in the context of weak masculine frame shouts the loudest in that show. Very interesting!
Ndanu Ndunge –
A research we completed a few weeks ago reveals an increase in hotel room bookings in downtown, midtown Nairobi, and the outskirts between 4.30 and 5.30 am in the morning signaling an evolution in the cheating tendencies of Nairobians. Traditionally, one would suspect their spouses when they came home late in the evening, then people moved their usherati to lunch time to avoid suspicion. Recent trends now indicate cheating is happening very early in the morning taking advantage of the need to “beat jam” to arrive early in town for randy sexual excapades? Does you spouse leave home too early in the morning. I am not saying leaving home at 3.30 in the morning to beat jam is always a red flag, but eh..eh..eh! Early morning hotel bookings in Nairobi are on the rise.
Boni –
I decided to fix my life, especially my health and fitness, doing abt 15 to 20k steps daily, weight lifting thrice a week, one meal a day, no sugar and processed carbs, no alcohol, no sweetened beverages, no seed oils, etc, as part of Unplugging from irresponsible consumption. One year down the line, my kitambi is gone, shed almost a quarter of my weight, and my fitness levels are up there. Unfortunately, this has become a source of conflict in my marriage. My wife is so insecure and keeps saying I am doing this to attract girls. Of course people around the hood have been talking about my transformation in physique and its not going down well with her. Now I am being accused of potential infidelity and she no longer sleeps in the master bedroom, ati she can’t sleep with a man who is about to cheat on her. She has no evidence of infidelity, just mere predictions. I am tired of this nonsense. Its draining! I can’t abandon my health and fitness goals to please her or assuage her insecurities. I will chose my health and fitness over her. Ends!!
Boni –
I decided to fix my life, especially my health and fitness, doing abt 15 to 20k steps daily, weight lifting thrice a week, one meal a day, no sugar and processed carbs, no alcohol, no sweetened beverages, no seed oils, etc, as part of Unplugging from irresponsible consumption. One year down the line, my kitambi is gone, shed almost a quarter of my weight, and my fitness levels are up there. Unfortunately, this has become a source of conflict in my marriage. My wife is so insecure and keeps saying I am doing this to attract girls. Of course people around the hood have been talking about my transformation in physique and its not going down well with her. Now I am being accused of potential infidelity and she no longer sleeps in the master bedroom, ati she can’t sleep with a man who is about to cheat on her. She has no evidence of infidelity, just mere predictions. I am tired of this nonsense. Its draining! I can’t abandon my health and fitness goals to please her or assuage her insecurities. I will chose my health and fitness over her. Ends!
Njeri Muhaice –
Situation in the hood:
1. Dude marries a jobless single mother
2. He is the sole-breadwinner, also educating the step-son
3. Two years into the marriage the couple gets a daughter
4. Since the birth, the JOBLESS wife has been demanding a 50-50 share of the house chores
5. Dude is doing 100 percent provision but the cost of living makes it hard to afford a househelp.
Unplugged may be a bestseller so far but I doubt it has reached even 10 percent of the demographic that needs to Unplug. There are so many men out here who need this book, and I am trying to get a way of getting this dude have my copy without appearing overly intrusive.
Zach –
My first marriage collapsed in 2012 when I found my wife of three years had been cheating with her boss for a long time, and a subsequent failed DNA test for what I used to call my son. I suspected the boss could have been the father, and did the test, confirming I was not the father.
I could have reacted how many men who find themselves in similar situation, and probably end up in jail or lose my job, but I counted my losses, healed my wounds, moved on, and focused on becoming the highest form of me. 11 years down the line, coincidentally I am currently the boss of my ex-wife’s former boss in a bigger organisation.
Some people in my position would use that opportunity to revenge, but I didn’t. No point of working hard to rise that up then start stooping that low. The moment I started perceiving him the setback that launched my comeback and mercurial rise in my career, all the bitterness dissipated. Its all about perceptions, I could have perceived him as an enemy whose downfall I need to plot, but I opted to adopt a perception consistent with my current identity.
My journey resonates with one of the most important themes in Unplugged, how to become the best version of yourself especially after a set back. When you become the best version of yourself, also unplug from any bitterness associated with your past setbacks, as bitterness and resultant responses such as revenge, schadenfreude, and trying to prove a point to engineers of your past setbacks will only erode the value of the version of you, you have struggled to create during your comeback.
Vincent Ngoga –
Excellent job done by the author.An important read for every man.Time for a man to look at the mirror and awaken that giant,that masculine in him.
Mbindyo Muthoka –
I gained a lot of awareness about dopamine after reading unplugged, prompting further research that made me realise that dopamine rush was responsible for more than 80 percent of my problems including addictions and impulsivity. That awareness has really transformed my life as dopamine no longer has the amount of control it had before. As a result I have beaten chronic addictions such as gambling, Arsenal (I no longer feel a thing when they lose or win), and alcohol. Whats more, I have higher levels of self discipline, I can stick to an exercise or fasting routine without impulsive behaviors disrupting them, and I have significantly improved my BMI, moving from obese to overweight, and I am now working towards bringing the BMI to below 24 and shed the overweight tag.
Mike buoro –
This book is truly a gem. If it were up to me this would b a set book in all boys schools countrywide. Highly recommended to the young and older men plus mothers struggling to raise boys on their own.
Reagan Wandera –
From my perspective as a young man, Unplugged is a revelation, rescuing men from the mire of misinformation and guiding us towards a path of authenticity. The author dismantles unnecessary societal misconceptions as he equally explains in details those that are relevant and transforms the ‘beta’ into a ‘red-pilled alpha,’ fostering a mindset grounded in realities and not those delusions we tend to ride on, this is a Cold-Hard-Truths tool indeed. I don’t want to talk about the poor decision I may have ever made as an undergraduate,for the book has already done it for me, in a broadway. But as I wait for graduation, this book is a beacon, illuminating the way to a life shaped by non-negotiable desire, genuine understanding and empowered choices in a society full of cropped “individuals” acting victims of each and every “raindrop” that falls on the earth of relationships. It’s a vital read, especially for young men like myself, on the brink of embarking on our life’s journey with clear eyes and a resolute spirit. Next year God willing, I’ll commence my masters degree, a well informed young man.
I’ve recommended the book to my two closest friends.
Mwalim Nduati –
The importance of having a side hustle has been emphasized in Unplugged, and from experience, never share info about the side hustle you want to start with friends, not that they will still you idea, but some of then can demotivate or demoralise you, especially if the hustle you want to start does not conform to their expectations of what a person of your class, education status and social standing should do as a side hustle. I faced that challenge six years ago when I was considering to do capentry as a side hustle, which included doing a 4 months course. Despite the sneers and disapproval from my friends, I went ahead and pursued my passion,did the course and established a capentry shop which I used to operate in the evenings and during weekends. Six years down the line, the shop has grown into a fully fledged business, employing 12 people, earns me a profit seven times more than my TSC salary, and despite employing full time fundis, I still do carpentry during my free time as it’s something I am passionate about. Don’t let people derail you with hollow expectations! Cheza kama wewe!
Samson Kibisu –
Whoever wrote this book, God Bless You. You may never know what you have done to my life, of course sent by God. This book will be forever remain my testimony of how God can use any resource including literature to intervene when you hit rock bottom
Cedric Kasau –
The alpha-beta matrix also applies to politics. Even in the current govt we know which of the “shareholder” group is the alpha and which is the beta.
Patrick Lusweti –
My interactions with women have never been the same since I read unplugged. I easily read their minds and decode their intentions with just a few words or even observing their body language. Some stuff I was blind to earlier are now easily noticeable
Oloo Otis –
I used to equate my success with women (the ease at which I “entered them box”) with masculinity but this book has made me realize I am just an effing loser who made women my focus point, spending much time, money and mental resources chasing skirts. There is nothing masculine in a such hedonistic lifestyle. There could be more masculine celibates than men who get sex regularly,because masculinity has little to do with sex.
Julius Katana –
Unplugged does not use the “Mucere na Nyama ” approach to problem solving. It empowers you to create sustainable solutions to your challenges, resulting in long term changes to your thinking, decision-making, and even lifestyle.
Albert Kemunche –
The more things unfold in our society. the more Unplugged becomes more relevant as a teacher and guide. Viewing some of these stuff from an unplugged lense is damn liberating, the book is near-prophetic. I am in the field of disaster management and response and I can liken unplugged as a potent social disaster management approach especially for the younger men.
Mwangi –
This book contains volumes of knowledge. It would be sad if you read it from a biased point of view because you wouldn’t learn from it. To men, Unplugged is a man’s Constitution. Change or Perish. And if you’ve read Unplugged, read 50 Memos to men too. Aliet and Silas are educating the local man, book by book. Cant wait for Unplugged 2.
Moses Ndaiga –
Hii book ukisoma ukiwa na depression unarealize kumbe hakuna depression uko nayo, ni confusion juu ya lack of mental clarity. The moment I got that clarity,I felt like a new being. A-star content!
Martin Wahogo –
I not only questioned the whole life I’ve led as an adult man, I’ve had to question my whole existence as a man on this earth. I have even gone further to question the lives of the men who’ve had an influence on my life since my childhood. I’ve questioned a lot. Basically, the essence of the book spoke to me as a man in more ways than just my interaction with the female species. Every man on earth should read UNPLUGGED.
Wanderi Githome –
Also,
The next volume of Unplugged should emphasize this bro code rule
YOUR FRIEND’S EX IS YOUR EX
Wanderi Githome –
Yesterday, while seated on the balcony of a hotel I witnessed a heated argument between a man and his wife across the street. The woman slapped her husband then she dropped on the ground and started rolling while screaming. The crowd that started gathering started admonishing the husband for beating his wife in public. The saddest part was men who came to “defend the woman” lecturing the man with isht like “Real men don’t beat women”, without understanding the genesis of the whole situation. They walked away in shame after a boda boda rider who had recorded the whole incident produced a video of the whole story to save the man, when the men started frogmatching the husband to the chiefs camp. Reminded me of Men for Men plea in Unplugged and the wider manospace. Long live the boda rider! These other men who wanted to throw fellow men under the bus in defense of women or to please women are the scum of the earth. The worst there shall ever be. Nitamagui!
Simiyu Munyasia –
My first act of Unplugging was discarding the TV. Its been therapeutic. Three months of freedom from numbing political noise and all sorts of “dopamining” content. More unplugging acts on the way. This is the most perfect book for any man ready to take life more seriously
Allan Nandwa –
Not reading Unplugged and acting accordingly should be declared the highest form of male self-sabotage.
Wallace Openda –
This book is simply light in the middle of the tunnel
Okello –
I stumbled upon unplugged in the most benial way. I say benial because I thought I was in a happy relationship at that time. My boxing coach had posted a picture of unplugged, I was eye cought by the subtitle ‘ Things Our Fatethers Did NOT Tell Us’, I asked for his copy and he bought me a signed copy. A week into reading unplugged, my relationship came crumbling down unexpectedly. Talk about bitter truths ! Must read for any man out here.
David Maiyo –
I deduce that women are only loyal to frame.
Ken Ngaira –
I’ve never read a book that has made me ask myself so much question about my life and choices
Francois Otieno –
KEY WORDS PHRASES IN UNPLUGGED
Burden of Performance
Mental point of Origin
Hypergamy
Full stack man
Briffault’s Law
A deep understanding of their meaning and implication is at the heart of unplugging
Robert Chweya –
I will be buying this book after every two months and give to a young man. Ageing in a society full of weak and reckless younger men will be very uncomfortable and we must make every effort possible to shape the next generation of men
Anonymous –
Is it all men being warned against single mothers or its just the young ones? Like what if a 50 year old unmarried man gets a young single mother?
Gicuguma –
Unplugged should be like a journal. An issue every year. There is much that can be covered in subsequent volumes. What we have here is already transformative. There is much more room for more transformation of men. Keep it up.
Tobias Kazungu –
One thing I have learnt from the wider unplugging or red pill movement championed by the likes of Aliet, Silas, Amerix and Kibe is that a mans behavior, trait, characteristic that works to the advantage of a woman without adding value to the man is a weakness. When women congratulate or shower with praise men who step up to raise other mens kids and men go neglect their goals and purpose to pamper women they are simply telling you you are a weak mofo! That video of Kate Actress congratulating men who step up that has resurfaced should make men THINK HARD!
Tobias Kazungu –
One thing I have learnt from the wider unplugging or red pill movement championed by the likes of Aliet, Silas, Amerix and Kibe is that a mans behavior, trait, characteristic that works to the advantage of a woman without adding value to the man is a weakness. When women congratulate or shower praise men who step up to raise other mens kids and men go neglect their goals and purpose to pamper women they are simply telling you you are a weak mofo! That video of Kate Actress congratulating men who step up that has resurfaced should make men THINK HARD!
Tarus Bowen –
The more this book is made available to men born between 1995 and 2005, the better the future of our nation. This book should have high penetration within this demographic. It can make them better than us, as they will be more focused on purpose, make less mistakes and have a sharp understanding of female nature.
Shadrack Thuranira –
We are heading to a future where if a man/woman wants to have a kid they look for a woman/man interested in having a kid, sign an legally binding agreement on how to co-parent and then proceed to reproduce without even being in a relationship or marriage. There will be nothing like cheating, love triangles, patanisho, jealousy-related violence and murder, complicated pattern on phones, and all these nonsense revolving relationships and marriage.
Gikuyu Njuguna Munjiru –
Surely, these are things our fathers didn’t teach us, but there is something important my grandfather told me before he died. Pay dowry instalments. A quarter first. Another quarter after five years, another after 10 years, then complete just before your first kid pays dowry or before you receive dowry.
Dan Kibet –
We must embrace the cold hard truths and change our mindset or remain with the comforting lies and perish.
We must unite as men or perish as fools.
UNPLUG
Dominic Ndwiga –
I totally agree with Unplugged on spectator sports. There is no way a broke man should be spending three or more hours watching another man getting paid to do his work, and then start associating with the achievements of other men ati “tumeshinda”, tuko top of the table”, while you were sitting idly watching other men getting paid to do their work. There is no way, a man who is out of shape, with a huge pot belly and man boobs should spend between 3 and 5 hours watching sports idly while probably adding more sugar to his body, watching fit men getting fitter. If you are a broke man, spend less time watching other men getting paid to do their work. Use part of that time to do something more valuable and fix your brokenness. If you are out of shape, reduce the amount of time you sit idly to watch sports, use part of that time on fitness. Lets channel more time towards creating value, for example making more money, getting fitter, gaining more knowledge, and less time sitting idly watching other men do their work. And I didn’t say we shouldn’t watch sports. However, spending between 6-12 hours every weekend, plus more hours during weekdays evenings, sitting idly watching other men do their work and getting paid ni upuzi mtupu. Na tuache hii upuzi ya ku own the results of other men’s hard work. You sit you a$$ down idly for 90 minutes as other men sweat it out halafu unaanza kuwika tumeshindaa? Kasia!
Bosco Musyoki –
I had to re-read Shaffie Weru and Joe Mfalme case study in Unplugged, and Unplugged made even more sense after the recent events revolving the female rally driver facing murder charges. Shaffie and Joe lost their jobs and were publicly humiliated for just making a statement. Mason Greenwood was forced out of Manchester United, and NIKE dropped him as one of its boot endorsers when he was falsely accused of rape, and could not regain his slot at the club and the endorsement, even after the legal system dropped the charges due to lack of evidence. On the other side, a female Rally driver is facing murder charges (allegedly killed a man), she has been allowed to continue racing, and none of her corporate sponsors have dropped her. What if it was a male athlete who allegedly killed a female one? Would the sponsors still be on board? Would he be allowed to continue racing as investigations continue in a society that banished Shaffie and Joe for making a mere statement, with a top beer company headed by a female threatening to withdraw adverts at Homeboyz Radio, forcing the station to suspend and later terminate Shaffie and Joe? Why were corporate sponsors so fast to withdraw adverts on Homeboyz but very slow to suspend their association with the female rally driver facing murder charges? These are rhetorical questions that should make everyone realize how the current system is rigged against the man. As Amerix said two days ago, this is the wrong time to even get confrontational with a woman in public. She can stab you and the response will be “She must have gone through a lot for her to act that way. Its a rigged new world order! The more isht happens in our society, the more unplugged continues to make sense. Masterpiece!
James Muthike Miano –
Unplugged should be a compulsory text in boys schools, especially here in Kirinyaga
Branham Wakhu –
I’ve just finished reading The UNPLUGGED.I must confess that my brain,heart, beliefs and perception have been affected positively.As a young man in my early twenties, to be specific twenty,I’ve had the privilege to the information my own father may have not taught me.As they say ,to be forewarned is to be forearmed.Iam lucky and happy to be armed from your pot of wisdom.My money ,time and efforts was worth it.Thanks a bunch.May heavens bless you Aliet.
Jonathan Kinyua –
Half of the world’s problems would be solved if all men focused on their purpose and creating value. Lets REDUCE the time we spend chasing women, drinking alcohol, partying and hanging out, watching football and other sports, discussing football politics and politicians, and idling on social media and channel it toward achieving our purpose and creating value. In fact. it would be better if we did away with all of the aforementioned stuff but those who cannot do away with them can reduce the time they waste, because nothing devalues a man more than most of these time wasters. I am glad the book has addressed time wasting as one of the issues affecting modern men
D O –
I’ve tried doing a quick summary of this beautiful book, by Jacob Aliet , which I read early this year. I have ended up writing a very long one. Not summary anymore. So a summary won’t do it any justice because there is so much to even select what to pick and what to leave out.
I’d simply say, if you are out there and struggling with gifting ideas, for any boy or man, then your search is over.
Jacob Aliet has done a fantastic job in:
1. Understanding the female nature, something that, for a very long time,society has deemed as a mystery that cannot be learnt or understood
2. He has addressed the much talked about ‘shortage of marriageable men and women’
3. Brought out interesting ideas on revitalising masculinity and building men who shoe leadership, stepping up in their roles and shedding off the feminine energy in them.
4. Jacob offers a myriad of challenges to the boychild and men generally in trying to regain their position in society, appreciating who they are and how best they relate with the other gender in a fulfilling and how naturally it ought to be.
The release of this book faced several criticisms mostly from the usual arguments from ignorant people who pick trending topics and want to jump onto without full knowledge. This is a must have book for anybody bringing a boy. Any man. And a great guidebook to anylady looking for a man to settle with and how to sustain that relationship. With excellent local and relatable scenarios and examples, you will not want to put this book down if you are a man.
Gift that boy. Gift that man this book and thank me later. I won’t charge for this advise.
K.C –
There was this 24 year old I was dating nikaacha when I realized her mum is 43 and I am 41. Huge age gap, blunder!
Warren Gatungu –
I am interested in this book. The reviews are already telling me its a must read