UNPLUGGED – What Our Fathers Did not Tell Us
As children, we learnt from Disney that if you treat her like a queen, she will treat you like a King. We were also taught that a man should go on one knee while proposing to a woman because women are the prize. We were also taught that we should listen to our wives and be gentlemen because women like nice boys they can trust and not bad boys who weren’t faithful. Men have tested these ideas, and thousands of men have lived to share their experiences and results. This book consolidates what men have learnt about intergender dynamics: what works and what does not work.
Today, marriage rates are declining. Forty per cent of single black women in the US are single mothers who prioritize getting babies over getting in a stable long-term commitment, aka marriage. Why do many young girls today prefer becoming side chicks to high-value men rather than settling in marriage with an average man?
In 2019, the American Psychological Association labelled traditional masculinity as harmful. But if so, why are women striving to be like men? What is the impact of masculine females on relationships? Why are women being told to “act like a lady and think like a man” if masculinity is harmful?
What attracts women to men, and how can men maintain that attachment? In the age of social media, where women get free attention and validation from hundreds of men, how do men in long term relationships deal with partners who feel they have so many options?
Women file for divorce 70-80% of the time in the western world. How can men navigate marriage with modern women incentivized to divorce by divorce laws? Why did the Greeks equate the feminine with chaos, represented as the goddess Pandora? Why are most oracles in epics female, and why did God tell Adam that his first sin was listening to Eve?
On average, men’s handgrip strength, testosterone levels, and overall masculinity is declining, while women’s enrolment rates in universities have outstripped those of men. Among trans adults, the majority are men who say they were born female. Why? Why is masculinity on the decline?
In 2021, before a whole school assembly at Brauer College in Victoria, Australia, the male students were all told to stand up, turn to a girl in their class and say sorry. Yet they had done nothing wrong. Based on Census Bureau historical data and Morgan Stanley forecasts, 45% of prime working-age women (ages 25-44) will be single by 2030—the largest share in history—up from 41% in 2018.
This book traces the origin of the steady decline of the man’s role in the family. It also seeks to help men understand female nature, revitalize masculinity and build full-stack men who can navigate relationships while providing leadership in an increasingly gynocentric world that has largely silenced men.
This book will plug you from comforting lies to cold hard truths.
Jojoe –
Someone recommended that I read unplugged 1 when I just got divorced(3years ago).It took me a while to do that until I got enough of his calls.
When I got the book, I couldn’t put it down until I finished reading it. I was in the pits bro. I felt the beast in me want to kill the puny-lambistic-weak guy that got divorced.
I put into practice various lessons that are evident in the book and last week on Friday I hit a milestone that looked impossible to achieve in my 30’s.
Most if not all mistakes that we make as men are pointed out in this book,for young reader’s,it’s like traveling to the future but living in the moment.
Imagine knowing all the problems you’re likely to encounter and having the opportunity to take preventive measures before hand or having solutions with you.
For buddies, it’s never too late to rescue yourself or make yourself better.
Thank you for a job well done in all your books.
Odiwuor Owuor –
I haven’t stayed up late to read “non examinable” material since my days at “The St Mary’s School Yale” when we’d divide Sydney Sheldon’s The Other Side of Midnight read a piece of its many divided pieces doing rounds through the school only to spend the following day fantasizing how opetes and shirts were being torn in the rain from excerpts of the novel until i got my copy of Jacob Aliet ‘s UNPLUGGED.Get yourself a copy because it will help you through this exam that is called LIFE.
bramwelmuuo –
A must-read for anyone interested in exploring the complexities of human connection.
Charles –
The book “unplugged” is simply phenomenal….every chapter represents a shift is the paradigm and a journey of self discovery, a framework of changes that need to be done..! Thank you. Am keeping a copy for my 8 yr old son🔥
Johny Njoroge –
Those of us who grew in the 80s and 90s, unplugging ndio tulikuwa tunaita KUCHANUKA. Tunachanuliwa hapa!
James Bundi –
Before Unplugged, I had a limited understanding of masculinity and related concept as my understanding was shaped by sources I now consider questionable after this eye opening experience. I had to make a turnaround of many degrees to get me to the trajectory of the right masculine ideals.
Davy Muasya –
I have never read a book six times. This one is the first, surpassing the five times I have read Failing forward by John Maxwell and four times Ive done Atomic Habits by James Clear
Nick Kibet –
Everywhere I go I tell men and even women, boys, and girls “Unplug from your bad habits” like I did. I was an eyesore characterwise before I read this book after which I made a highly noticeable turnaround, and I am an authoritative evidence of the transformational power of quiting bad habits.
Justin Ongwen –
Unplugged by Jacob Aliet has taught me that there is life after a downfall, there is life after failure, there is life after the end of a marriage/relationship. There is no need to act a fool just because things didn’t go as expected. Don’t kill yourself, don’t kill someones daughter or son, don’t drown yourself in alcoholism. There is life after a setback. The book has also taught me that
what you do when you hit rock bottom will determine whether you remain down like post-Alex Ferguson Manchester United or you will regain your former glory and even go beyond what you were before the setback. Any man can regain their lost glory because no man is Manchester United!
Patrick Ndonga –
Many people think Unplugging is all about freedom from the femicentric matrix but thats like 15-20 percent of the whole process. I was one of them. I thought I didn’t need the book since I’ve never had issues with women, having married in my early 20s and enjoying a very stable marriage and thriving family. After reading the book, I realised there is a lot I need to unplug from ranging from unproductive friendships, unhealthy habits, suboptimal approach to life, low quality influences, and poverty mentality. The biggest impact this book has had on me is enabling me maximise my potential by far. I realized I was using less than 20 percent of my potential and doubling it has produced wonders, making some boss moves here and there in just one and a half years after reading the book, and there is still more room from improvement as I havent even used half of my potential. I unplugged mainly from suboptimalness and poverty mentality.
alvin –
im shaking…im shocked,im frozed
Humphrey Gicheru –
The best way to review a book that has empowered me to make my first million before the age of 25 is to communicate results. I got Unplugged as a graduation gift in late 2022 when I was in the process of squandering money I had earned from the political campaigns through drinking and women. Reading unplugged arrested this. By the time I had around 58,000 shillings left, I had already made a decision to stop sending fare and quit drinking, and instead I started strategizing how to leverage the finances I have. I left my bedsitter in Ruiru and went back to the village and converted some idle 4 acres piece of land into a thriving farm. I put the whole piece under yellow beans and managed 19 bags at first attempt, making a profit of about 172,000. With improved farming methods, the same piece of land gave me 35 bags at the second attempt. I decided to increase the acreage to 15 through leasing. Currently, I am averaging 80 to 100 bags every four months and with a bag selling at between 12 and 15k and by the time I celebrate my 25th birthday later in the year, I will have several millions in my bank accounts. As my farming methods improve and lease more land to facilitate rotational farming, the future can only be brighter. I don’t know where I would be if I hadn’t read this book. I didn’t know books can be this transformative, and I am now heavilly investing in books.
Jairo Nzioka –
I wish I could get like minded people from Machakos Town Constituency, especially the stretch between Mumbuni and Kivutini to mentor young men from an Unplugged perspective. There is a whole generation of 20-30 year old men wasting away in idleness, cheap brews and bhang, and its a ticking time bomb thats gonna hit my home area hard. We can’t have able-bodied men spending the whole day idling on the roads and urban centers and then go home to terrorize their mothers ati wanataka chakula. We can’t have 45-60 year old women toiling hard to feed their idle post teenage sons, some with kids and wives depending on their grandparents. Its a ticking time bomb and we must unplug a generation before its too late. Anyone reading this and is interested in the initiative hit me up on [email protected]
Lawrence –
Mentality is everything! Before I read Unplugged my annual body count was between, 50 and 60. Thats like 4 new lays per month,clocking a count of more than 400 at 28. Right now I am doing the 9th month of dry spell, trying to push it to at least 12 months or even more. Aliet changed my mentality about casual sexual liaisons and the empty-headed pursuit for skirts. The self discipline and restraint that has seen me unplug from ufisi will definitely be applied to other areas of life.
Julius Masila –
On this day one year ago, Feb 28 2023, I started a journey that has since taken an unexpected twist. I used to place 10 sportpesa jackpot slips every week translating to almost 4k lost monthly, for years. (I only won a jackpot bonus of 9,655 once in three years). I unplugged from gambling and decided to buy 7-8 fully grown (already laying) Kienyeji chicken every month with the 4k instead from the adjacent village. The resultant business has a full time employee currently, and income almost surpassing my salary from the sale of eggs alone. JACKPOT!
Victor Luti (verified owner) –
Aliet provides a thought-provoking analysis of the motivations and desires that drive people’s behavior. One of the book’s strengths is its exploration of human psychology. He also offers some interesting insights into the ways in which technology is changing our relationships with each other.
“Unplugged” is a thought-provoking book that is sure to spark debate.
Persis Mwanga –
Three weeks ago, I got a distress call from a dude, my friend’s brother. His brother had nearly taken his own life. Being someone I have had a long cordial relationship, I was beside myself with worry. However, I thought of this gentleman and his issues that were known to me. He was not sick. He just needed male guidance, assurance and a mentor. I had bought Unplugged for a male who’d turned 40 and he had already told me how the book couldn’t be put down. Having heard so much about Jacob and following him, I reached out and he agreed to meet my friend. Even before an upfront payment for the session, Jacob’s passion and commitment to empowering Boy Child was clear. It was three hours. My friend’s life took a turn after speaking to Aliet, literally. No meds, back to work and even a new job, four times his old salary (applications he did after the session)! He says the session with Jacob was life changing and Book 1 has done that thing to him. Being mama boys and in the mentorship space, these conversations and books are changing the community one life at a time. Honored to have met Jacob. Unplugged is a must read! Can you consider an Ebook (Kiswahili version) so we can Unplug everyone including some of our very low friends who might benefit? ~Persis
Persis –
Three weeks ago, I got a distress call from a dude, my friend’s brother. His brother had nearly taken his own life. Being someone I have had a long cordial relationship, I was beside myself with worry. However, I thought of this gentleman and his issues that were known to me. He was not sick. He just needed male guidance, assurance and a mentor. I had bought Unplugged for a male who’d turned 40 and he had already told me how the book couldn’t be put down. Having heard so much about Jacob and following him, I reached out and he agreed to meet my friend. Even before an upfront payment for the session, Jacob’s passion and commitment to empowering Boy Child was clear. It was three hours. My friend’s life took a turn after speaking to Aliet, literally. No meds, back to work and even a new job, four times his old salary (applications he did after the session)! He says the session with Jacob was life changing and Book 1 has done that thing to him. Being mama boys and in the mentorship space, these conversations and books are changing the community one life at a time. Honored to have met Jacob. Unplugged is a must read! Can you consider an Ebook (Kiswahili version) so we can Unplug everyone including some of our very low friends who might benefit? ~Persis
Stephen Kahumburu –
This book made me a better human being. I have experience all-round growth, holistic development as a man, and the results can be felt by anyone around me.
Brian Anyona –
I have read this book four times as I write this and I want to thank the author Jacob Aliet for this book. I have been a victim of hypergamy not once but twice and I cannot even blame the women who left me as I was blue pilled conditioned, lambistic, lacked a masculine frame, a simp, I had no frame, and I suffered from oneitis. Now I know my mistakes and I know what is expected of me by having my own mental point of origin and picking up the burden of performance. This book is good and all men should read this book. Kudos Jacob Aliet.
96elan –
Timely book for myself and I am sure many young men. I am a Christian man and I don’t agree with a few parts of the book but its a must read for every Christian man. Unplugged is many times better than the marriage/relationship coaches in church who are determined to make men simps. Unplugged should be given to men during pre marital counselling.
McDonald Kabugo –
My son is finally sitting for his KCSE. When he comes home after the end of his high school education I will hand him a copy of Unplugged to set him up for the next phase of life
Tobias Onserio –
Well, well, well,
I got my copy recently from my father-in-law just before our wedding. I’ve read, and I won’t let him down.
Felix Waswa –
I don’t watch soaps, but someone recommend that I read Unplugged then watch a local program called Becky on citizen T.V. from an Unplugged perspective. I had to go to you tube and watch all episodes since the program started three months ago. Its like the scriptwriters read Unplugged and then wrote a script with a sharp focus on plugged men and how they get punished by female nature. Female nature in the context of weak masculine frame shouts the loudest in that show. Very interesting!
Ndanu Ndunge –
A research we completed a few weeks ago reveals an increase in hotel room bookings in downtown, midtown Nairobi, and the outskirts between 4.30 and 5.30 am in the morning signaling an evolution in the cheating tendencies of Nairobians. Traditionally, one would suspect their spouses when they came home late in the evening, then people moved their usherati to lunch time to avoid suspicion. Recent trends now indicate cheating is happening very early in the morning taking advantage of the need to “beat jam” to arrive early in town for randy sexual excapades? Does you spouse leave home too early in the morning. I am not saying leaving home at 3.30 in the morning to beat jam is always a red flag, but eh..eh..eh! Early morning hotel bookings in Nairobi are on the rise.
Boni –
I decided to fix my life, especially my health and fitness, doing abt 15 to 20k steps daily, weight lifting thrice a week, one meal a day, no sugar and processed carbs, no alcohol, no sweetened beverages, no seed oils, etc, as part of Unplugging from irresponsible consumption. One year down the line, my kitambi is gone, shed almost a quarter of my weight, and my fitness levels are up there. Unfortunately, this has become a source of conflict in my marriage. My wife is so insecure and keeps saying I am doing this to attract girls. Of course people around the hood have been talking about my transformation in physique and its not going down well with her. Now I am being accused of potential infidelity and she no longer sleeps in the master bedroom, ati she can’t sleep with a man who is about to cheat on her. She has no evidence of infidelity, just mere predictions. I am tired of this nonsense. Its draining! I can’t abandon my health and fitness goals to please her or assuage her insecurities. I will chose my health and fitness over her. Ends!!
Boni –
I decided to fix my life, especially my health and fitness, doing abt 15 to 20k steps daily, weight lifting thrice a week, one meal a day, no sugar and processed carbs, no alcohol, no sweetened beverages, no seed oils, etc, as part of Unplugging from irresponsible consumption. One year down the line, my kitambi is gone, shed almost a quarter of my weight, and my fitness levels are up there. Unfortunately, this has become a source of conflict in my marriage. My wife is so insecure and keeps saying I am doing this to attract girls. Of course people around the hood have been talking about my transformation in physique and its not going down well with her. Now I am being accused of potential infidelity and she no longer sleeps in the master bedroom, ati she can’t sleep with a man who is about to cheat on her. She has no evidence of infidelity, just mere predictions. I am tired of this nonsense. Its draining! I can’t abandon my health and fitness goals to please her or assuage her insecurities. I will chose my health and fitness over her. Ends!
Njeri Muhaice –
Situation in the hood:
1. Dude marries a jobless single mother
2. He is the sole-breadwinner, also educating the step-son
3. Two years into the marriage the couple gets a daughter
4. Since the birth, the JOBLESS wife has been demanding a 50-50 share of the house chores
5. Dude is doing 100 percent provision but the cost of living makes it hard to afford a househelp.
Unplugged may be a bestseller so far but I doubt it has reached even 10 percent of the demographic that needs to Unplug. There are so many men out here who need this book, and I am trying to get a way of getting this dude have my copy without appearing overly intrusive.
Zach –
My first marriage collapsed in 2012 when I found my wife of three years had been cheating with her boss for a long time, and a subsequent failed DNA test for what I used to call my son. I suspected the boss could have been the father, and did the test, confirming I was not the father.
I could have reacted how many men who find themselves in similar situation, and probably end up in jail or lose my job, but I counted my losses, healed my wounds, moved on, and focused on becoming the highest form of me. 11 years down the line, coincidentally I am currently the boss of my ex-wife’s former boss in a bigger organisation.
Some people in my position would use that opportunity to revenge, but I didn’t. No point of working hard to rise that up then start stooping that low. The moment I started perceiving him the setback that launched my comeback and mercurial rise in my career, all the bitterness dissipated. Its all about perceptions, I could have perceived him as an enemy whose downfall I need to plot, but I opted to adopt a perception consistent with my current identity.
My journey resonates with one of the most important themes in Unplugged, how to become the best version of yourself especially after a set back. When you become the best version of yourself, also unplug from any bitterness associated with your past setbacks, as bitterness and resultant responses such as revenge, schadenfreude, and trying to prove a point to engineers of your past setbacks will only erode the value of the version of you, you have struggled to create during your comeback.
Vincent Ngoga –
Excellent job done by the author.An important read for every man.Time for a man to look at the mirror and awaken that giant,that masculine in him.
Mbindyo Muthoka –
I gained a lot of awareness about dopamine after reading unplugged, prompting further research that made me realise that dopamine rush was responsible for more than 80 percent of my problems including addictions and impulsivity. That awareness has really transformed my life as dopamine no longer has the amount of control it had before. As a result I have beaten chronic addictions such as gambling, Arsenal (I no longer feel a thing when they lose or win), and alcohol. Whats more, I have higher levels of self discipline, I can stick to an exercise or fasting routine without impulsive behaviors disrupting them, and I have significantly improved my BMI, moving from obese to overweight, and I am now working towards bringing the BMI to below 24 and shed the overweight tag.
Mike buoro –
This book is truly a gem. If it were up to me this would b a set book in all boys schools countrywide. Highly recommended to the young and older men plus mothers struggling to raise boys on their own.
Reagan Wandera –
From my perspective as a young man, Unplugged is a revelation, rescuing men from the mire of misinformation and guiding us towards a path of authenticity. The author dismantles unnecessary societal misconceptions as he equally explains in details those that are relevant and transforms the ‘beta’ into a ‘red-pilled alpha,’ fostering a mindset grounded in realities and not those delusions we tend to ride on, this is a Cold-Hard-Truths tool indeed. I don’t want to talk about the poor decision I may have ever made as an undergraduate,for the book has already done it for me, in a broadway. But as I wait for graduation, this book is a beacon, illuminating the way to a life shaped by non-negotiable desire, genuine understanding and empowered choices in a society full of cropped “individuals” acting victims of each and every “raindrop” that falls on the earth of relationships. It’s a vital read, especially for young men like myself, on the brink of embarking on our life’s journey with clear eyes and a resolute spirit. Next year God willing, I’ll commence my masters degree, a well informed young man.
I’ve recommended the book to my two closest friends.
Mwalim Nduati –
The importance of having a side hustle has been emphasized in Unplugged, and from experience, never share info about the side hustle you want to start with friends, not that they will still you idea, but some of then can demotivate or demoralise you, especially if the hustle you want to start does not conform to their expectations of what a person of your class, education status and social standing should do as a side hustle. I faced that challenge six years ago when I was considering to do capentry as a side hustle, which included doing a 4 months course. Despite the sneers and disapproval from my friends, I went ahead and pursued my passion,did the course and established a capentry shop which I used to operate in the evenings and during weekends. Six years down the line, the shop has grown into a fully fledged business, employing 12 people, earns me a profit seven times more than my TSC salary, and despite employing full time fundis, I still do carpentry during my free time as it’s something I am passionate about. Don’t let people derail you with hollow expectations! Cheza kama wewe!
Samson Kibisu –
Whoever wrote this book, God Bless You. You may never know what you have done to my life, of course sent by God. This book will be forever remain my testimony of how God can use any resource including literature to intervene when you hit rock bottom
Cedric Kasau –
The alpha-beta matrix also applies to politics. Even in the current govt we know which of the “shareholder” group is the alpha and which is the beta.
Patrick Lusweti –
My interactions with women have never been the same since I read unplugged. I easily read their minds and decode their intentions with just a few words or even observing their body language. Some stuff I was blind to earlier are now easily noticeable
Oloo Otis –
I used to equate my success with women (the ease at which I “entered them box”) with masculinity but this book has made me realize I am just an effing loser who made women my focus point, spending much time, money and mental resources chasing skirts. There is nothing masculine in a such hedonistic lifestyle. There could be more masculine celibates than men who get sex regularly,because masculinity has little to do with sex.
Julius Katana –
Unplugged does not use the “Mucere na Nyama ” approach to problem solving. It empowers you to create sustainable solutions to your challenges, resulting in long term changes to your thinking, decision-making, and even lifestyle.
Albert Kemunche –
The more things unfold in our society. the more Unplugged becomes more relevant as a teacher and guide. Viewing some of these stuff from an unplugged lense is damn liberating, the book is near-prophetic. I am in the field of disaster management and response and I can liken unplugged as a potent social disaster management approach especially for the younger men.
Mwangi –
This book contains volumes of knowledge. It would be sad if you read it from a biased point of view because you wouldn’t learn from it. To men, Unplugged is a man’s Constitution. Change or Perish. And if you’ve read Unplugged, read 50 Memos to men too. Aliet and Silas are educating the local man, book by book. Cant wait for Unplugged 2.
Moses Ndaiga –
Hii book ukisoma ukiwa na depression unarealize kumbe hakuna depression uko nayo, ni confusion juu ya lack of mental clarity. The moment I got that clarity,I felt like a new being. A-star content!
Martin Wahogo –
I not only questioned the whole life I’ve led as an adult man, I’ve had to question my whole existence as a man on this earth. I have even gone further to question the lives of the men who’ve had an influence on my life since my childhood. I’ve questioned a lot. Basically, the essence of the book spoke to me as a man in more ways than just my interaction with the female species. Every man on earth should read UNPLUGGED.
Wanderi Githome –
Also,
The next volume of Unplugged should emphasize this bro code rule
YOUR FRIEND’S EX IS YOUR EX
Wanderi Githome –
Yesterday, while seated on the balcony of a hotel I witnessed a heated argument between a man and his wife across the street. The woman slapped her husband then she dropped on the ground and started rolling while screaming. The crowd that started gathering started admonishing the husband for beating his wife in public. The saddest part was men who came to “defend the woman” lecturing the man with isht like “Real men don’t beat women”, without understanding the genesis of the whole situation. They walked away in shame after a boda boda rider who had recorded the whole incident produced a video of the whole story to save the man, when the men started frogmatching the husband to the chiefs camp. Reminded me of Men for Men plea in Unplugged and the wider manospace. Long live the boda rider! These other men who wanted to throw fellow men under the bus in defense of women or to please women are the scum of the earth. The worst there shall ever be. Nitamagui!
Simiyu Munyasia –
My first act of Unplugging was discarding the TV. Its been therapeutic. Three months of freedom from numbing political noise and all sorts of “dopamining” content. More unplugging acts on the way. This is the most perfect book for any man ready to take life more seriously
Allan Nandwa –
Not reading Unplugged and acting accordingly should be declared the highest form of male self-sabotage.
Wallace Openda –
This book is simply light in the middle of the tunnel
Okello –
I stumbled upon unplugged in the most benial way. I say benial because I thought I was in a happy relationship at that time. My boxing coach had posted a picture of unplugged, I was eye cought by the subtitle ‘ Things Our Fatethers Did NOT Tell Us’, I asked for his copy and he bought me a signed copy. A week into reading unplugged, my relationship came crumbling down unexpectedly. Talk about bitter truths ! Must read for any man out here.
David Maiyo –
I deduce that women are only loyal to frame.